Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
