Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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