I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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