Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
