I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I touched a dick in church today
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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