Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
