Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You took a bar mat shot.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
