when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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