I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Blood and glitter go together right?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
