I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
