there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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