Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize