ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize