He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
