she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
