There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
