Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
