You work out of a Hotel?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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