Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
