Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
