Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
