and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
