Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
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