Small penises have feelings too.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
