two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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