we have pet lesbian snakes
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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