I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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