I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
