No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
