if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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