so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
