...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
