the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
