I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
