I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize