you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
