Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
