He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
