I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
