For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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