I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
