its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The adults are the big ones right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
