One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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