I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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