Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
