Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
