I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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