I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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