Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
