I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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