Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
