sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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