Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
