I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
if only i could text you this smell
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize