We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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