I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Randomize