How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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