I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
