the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
